Time flies people change

Because of this sleepless and lonely night, I recalled this blog space out of a sudden.
Yea, it's been a while. A year plus since I last blogged.

Bunch of things happened in this long long period where I went missing( blogging here).
My life started to get real busy until I don't have time, or accurately, mood, to write here.
I'd been busy looking for money, work and work and work as to have a better life, to shop more, to travel more. There and then, I started to change.

I'm no longer the old me. I became more demanding, materialistic, selfish, careless, lonely.....

Yes, I have changed.

I have changed for some reason. But I'm not ready yet to face the consequences. Simply because I'm still loving you.

I am afraid. I don't want this to happen. I hope there are ways to solve this shit. And I swear, you're the man that I love with all my heart and soul. Everyone can see that we had been through up and downs. I prayed to God if there's any miracle for this relationship. Cause I know that I will never find a man like you, who loved me so hard, who gave me his everything :'(

I always hope that you're the first and last of my life. But thing is changing now. I'm afraid that the man that you loved the most in your life, wouldn't be the one who walk with you till the end of the life. It's sad I know. Barely cry. (I know I have cried alots)

Looking forward to changes. A changes that hurt nobody especially You.

I love you.

回忆

半夜睡不着 突然想起这个部落格
很久很久都没有上来了 甚至自己都忘了是什么link了

睡不着的夜晚总是有很多想法 很多事情要做
但是一觉醒来又忘东忘西了
所以我决定把所有事情都记录在这里
好让我以后有时间回忆 我曾经想过的事情 或者我成功做到了的事情
因为记录在这里永远不会不见
上个星期电话被人抢了，很多照片来不及back up，没了
连我自己都不清楚里面有些什么照片
真可惜啊
很多记忆就这样被剥夺了

我往后都会把这里当作是心情日记
记载在网路永远都不会不见 很安全
也很后悔之前没有把事情都记录起来
现在都得靠那些零碎地片断 慢慢地回忆起
现实社会的大家都过着忙碌的生活啊 包括我自己

发觉到我发了最后一个跟男朋友去旅行的甜蜜post之后
我们就分开了
从那之后 我过得很放荡
太多的自由反而让自己看起来很狼狈
以为自己很快乐 其实只是被关在笼子很久 突然猛挥翅膀乱闯
知道累了 曲终人散了的时刻 才想起笼子里的美好
真悲哀啊
分开的那段日子 发生了很多不开心的事
后来我们复合了
感情变得更好了 我们都变得比较成熟了
他不再用笼子捆着我 我也没有向往外猛挥翅膀的冲动了
因为分开过
了解了种种的为什么
我们换了一个方式相处
现在很幸福很幸福

我变得更体贴了 不会向以前那样责问他所有的开销 责怪他所有的做不到背后的苦衷
而他 也变得更开明了 不会太束博我的交友圈子 给了我一些小自由

突然想起大家常说的一句话
你越是强迫 他越是不听 类似的意思
在我们身上是看到了 所以我们相通了 换了个方式相处相爱
果然开心很多
但我不知道这样的处理方式是不是对每对情侣惯用，但大多数都会吧
除非有些人天生质感不好 就像那些天生嗜赌，有暴力倾向的人 应该很难找到解决方法

分开的那段时间 其实我很后悔
虽然嘴上一直说人要不停地前进 不要回头
但是心里难过得要命
在人前假装很开心 很享受单身的生活 也尝试过跟不同男生约会
做了再多可以忘掉那段感情的事情 日子怎么过就没有打从心里的开心
故意让自己很忙很多节目 应酬不完的朋友 做很多疯狂的事 做大家的开心果
回到家 还是一个人莫名的难过了起来 甚至莫名的哭了
曾经一段时间为了摆脱这种莫名的伤感 我选择不睡觉了
去那些夜总会 吃了些亢奋的东西 让自己陷在那种亢奋状态直到昏睡
后来觉得身体越来越弱了 换成了喝酒
每一天晚上都在外面喝酒 好让自己回去的时候容易入睡
虽然很难喝醉但至少有点亢奋 但是其实还是有点难入睡
睡前总会想很多
这些事都是一直收在心里 没有跟任何人提过
也不是要扮坚强 只是我没有那个勇气诉说
因为我错得很多
就是不认输 不想让别人知道 其实我很后悔 其实我很想他 其实我很恨我自己

现在都过去了
感谢老天 把这么美好的天使 带到我身边
感谢他的不离不弃 感谢他还接受得了这样的我
我们都知道没有对方的日子真的很落魄
就像失去了依靠 失去了精神的支柱
到了这个阶段 我终于明白
爱 不是用说的 而是用行动证明

我想如果我把过去的点点滴滴写在这里
我看回去肯定会哭到暴
现在用想的我就很想濆泪了

我亲爱的男朋友
我不会再让你受到任何伤害
不会再让你一个人哭泣
不会再让你一个人默默承受这种伤痛
虽然说过很多篇
但是 遇见你 真的是我最幸福的事了

就算失去了所有 只要你还在我身边 什么样的日子都是幸福

OMG！My awesome Phuket trip

Hey all ! Whether you still remember my blog or not I'm just gonna tell you that I've totally forgotten my blog account ! I know I hv ignored it for quite a time but when I trying to view it again I was like *blank* forgot what I've set my blog link as. ( I've changed it dunno since when but I lupa !) Oh god I'm so careless, though that I'll never find back my blog again and all the memories in here will just gone like that. Thanks god. What a shock !

So after half years plus of "disappear" I've decided come back to blog. No matter there's reader or no, because till the end of the day I'll be the only reader , keep scrolling over the page reading my own diary lol. But the other purpose of blogging is to save my photos with some wording so that the memory won't fade ( as my brain doesn't function well ?? hmm ) Sometimes we just easily forget things that happened even on yesterday right ? It's not because of the age sometimes, agree ? If not agree let's just tell me what you had for your dinner last night ? #iknowi'msobithcy , besides give definition to all the photos (LOL) I can also save my photo here FOREVER. Because I've experiences TWICE (it's twice kay not once) of virus attacking on my smartphone which makes all my memorable photos gone to somewhere in hell. That feeling is really sucks and heart pain I tell you. So I don't want my prized photos gone again! ( I use dropbox too , but just to be more secure )

So let's talk about my recent life. I went Phuket last week (on my birthday) , it's really a nice place beautiful island with lots of ladyboys and foods ! Listen to me you have to visit there at least once in your life trust me you won't regret and you'll fall in love with it. Going there ain't expensive at all. I spent like total RM1200 for flight, hotels, shows, snorkeling, foods, massage and some shopping. ( It's 4D3N trip fyi) . So what not just go there and relax , strongly recommended this beautiful island ( if you cannot afford to go Maldives, not everyone got the chance to visit there I know) but Phuket , is the best place for you to chill :)

As you can see I really enjoy HAHA. The sea water there is so clean and clear ( sounds like some cosmetic products LOL) 

 Normally when come to the pictures I usually don't have the idea on what to type. Only able to describe few photos because...... all of it were camwhore ! (had no meaningful description LOL)
#girlsbeinggirls

This is no filter at all. The sunlights shine one my skin make me look flawless. I feel like an vampire HAHA

The background is just too pretty. The sea, sun, sands. Perfect 3S ever 

Love this pic so much it's taken by my bf. He's the best photographer ever for me. ( I like the way he like to capture every sides of me, like whatever I'm doing he just grab the camera and snap me even though somehow those photos are just meaningless but to me it's meaningful) #feelingloved

Me and @Shaneal my coursemate

 Me still look so fresh before getting wet (hehe)

 hey it's snorkeling time :)

 Group photo of the guys of the trip #handsome (meh ?)

one of the Best group photo ( because it's taken by me heheheh )

 seriously no edit. really stunning background , stunning skies and sea !

 At Wat Cha Long temple, I remembered the weather is quite hot that day. But the skies are ultimately blue and gorgeous !!!!

              

 

At Fantasea, Phuket. 

This is Mango Sticky Rice. It's a dessert from Thailand. Cost around RM10 I guess. Quite nice loh still so miss it. *Slurp

Well this is something not related to Phukct but it's my evidence ! My bf is sooooo untidy, look what he did to our room. I've cleaned it up once and it become originally like this. What a good job huh boyfie. (we don't want room cleaning bcoz we left our phones, ipad and camera inside room)

 I'm not a swimmer I'mma "dry duck" which mean dun even know how to SWIM . I know I'm lame. So wearing bikini is just to take beautiful posing pictures HAHA.

 Not a swimmer but love the sea waves ( I finally entered to the sea also after their incredible invitation lol)

 The very last night in Bangla Road, Phuket. I called this road as "evil or angel road" because ermmmm.. You will know when you walk into it, no idea how to express it in words.

Well , it's time to rush my assignment. Good night :D

Christmas 2012 @Portugis

Hi everybody who is seeing my blog always (wonder if there is any?LOL) anyway I am so active recently because I am so damn free, class started and am just spending my night time inside my hostel room with unlimited internet access :)

So today's topic is Christmas celebration with the gang. Just slightly blog about it #memory
Btw mostly I'll just upload pictures here, because pictures tell everything (the reason why ppl like to take picture) 

First of all is my camwhore pictures series, Taadaaaa

#1 self-shoot :)

Well 2012's Christmas of mine just a very normal celebration. Me, my bf, Xin Xuan & Lee Ping ,just four of us . We went to Kampung Portugis, a place where mostly occupied by the Portuguese and they have decoration (of their house) competition every year, that's why Malaccan like to go there for count down because of the environment Christmas :) well it's too crowded for me, for me it's nothing interesting there just the decoration but since ppl like to go there then me just follow the flow. I remembered that day was really really crowded, me and the gang stuck inside and couldn't even make a move. Then some Portuguese friends are annoyed with it and they started to shout at ppl outside, so not harmony. However we find a shortcut path to get rid of that terrible stuck place and we went to have our supper lol. I feel like that is much more better than staying there(no point), I won't ever celebrate Christmas at Portuguese Settlement anymore (just too suck) 

 #2 OOTD dress of Christmas

 Oh ya, before that we went to Karaoke @Mybox 

#3 Sing K

 #4 Kampung Portugis

Oh my Xin Xuan so shy Lol, she likes to pose like that everytime I trying to shoot her, dunno why

 #5 Notice my baby Xin Xuan's pose ? LOL

 #6 My Super Man ♥

 #7 Random capture :)

 #8 ♥♥♥

#9 Xin Xuan & Lee Ping 

 #10 The couple ♥♥♥

So here are some decorated houses , I just managed to snap a few of them only(remember I stuck in halfway? haha) hope u guys enjoy :)

#11 The decoration of Christmas

#12 ILY ♥♥♥♥♥

See ya ! ♥♥